


it's going to be alright

by secretHQinspace



Series: quiet moments [1]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Other, Peter-centric, Tenderness, gentle intimacy, post man in glass part 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 12:08:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21319951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretHQinspace/pseuds/secretHQinspace
Summary: set immediately after 3.2In the gentle dark of Peter's bedroom, he and Juno share a quiet moment.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Series: quiet moments [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1536976
Comments: 8
Kudos: 178





	it's going to be alright

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to the last few minutes of 3.2 for making me Soft! if you really want set the gentle mood listen to 'a thief without a home' (aka the jupeter ost track) or dodie’s ‘ready now’ while reading

It doesn’t magically get better. Nothing can simply be fixed with a sorry, even the sincerest one. Sitting next to each other on Peter’s bed, he doesn’t know quite what to say to Juno. Because it’s not fixed instantly. But it’s a start. 

It did hurt. Waking up suddenly in the middle of the night, reaching over with blind faith for the person that should’ve been there. The cold dread when he wasn’t. The panic of searching the hotel room for any sign of him.

The sudden immense loss of the future they were supposed to have together. 

And he tells Juno that. Not to be cruel - he doesn’t want any more unnecessary hurt between them - but because he knows that if he doesn’t say it now, he never will. It isn’t something he likes to think about often, a thought filed not in the ‘for future consideration’ box, but the beat up box that’s shoved far back in the closet and sealed up with tape. That box is for the memories that he’s lived through and been hurt from enough, the ones he’ll never forget but doesn’t ever care to re-examine. Juno’s departure sparked a long period of regression to unhealthy coping mechanisms Peter thought he’d put behind him. Brought up ugly thoughts long since buried. 

At his words, Juno’s hand clenches into a fist from where it rests on his knee. His brows are drawn in guilt and regret. He takes a shakey breath and slowly uncurls it. Peter can see the little crescents the nails have impressed onto his palm. 

“I’m _so_ sorry, Nureyev. I- I wasn’t in a good place then, and that’s not an excuse. I should’ve said something, left a note or talked to you or _anything_ other than what I did.” He continues in a softer voice. “You didn’t deserve that.” 

Peter doesn’t say anything in response, but he slips his hand into Juno’s and runs a thumb over those crescent indentations. He’s not sure what small intimacies he’s allowed anymore, but Juno doesn’t pull away. Instead, those dark fingers tighten gently around his, and it feels like Juno’s squeezing his heart instead of his hand. 

Peter realizes, distantly bitterly, that Juno’s changed for the better in their time apart. The Juno Steel he knew was cutting and quick to snap, defensive, and tad bit selfish when it came to feelings. This one is softer, but not in any way that makes him weaker. This is a Juno that’s learned to trust again, to apologize, to display his emotions freely. Most importantly, this is a Juno Steel that’s learned how to change and not be afraid of it. 

He’s not sure if Juno could’ve learned all that if they had run off together. He’ll never be sure. But looking at him now, the distant starlight shining through the port window and casting him in the gentlest of glows, his expression so earnest and open, he knows this was what Juno needed. 

He’s looking at Peter now with that dark eye, the one that keenly observes and examines until whatever puzzle he’s hacking away at finally makes sense. Is Peter a puzzle to him? The new scar along his collarbone, the tired eyes and lack of favored earrings? He wonders if Juno is thinking the same thing - about how much they’ve gone through without each other, the unfamiliar marks left on their bodies and hearts and minds. 

“Juno,” he breathes. It takes every ounce of his willpower to utter the next words, to let the person who hurt him see this vulnerability. It would be a lot easier to simply bid Juno a good night. 

“Stay the night?” 

He’s graced with that smile again, this time a sun softly giving warmth with no danger of clouds. It’s something he hasn’t seen yet. It’s the new smile of someone who’s more at peace with themselves then they’ve ever been, and it’s a smile of gratitude and fondness and relief. 

“Yeah,” Juno answers in a voice rough with emotion Peter is too tired to identify. “Of course.” 

Peter’s changed too, in a lot of ways. Not for the better, not really. But like Juno, he thinks he needed this time to understand and really appreciate change. He hopes they can change together, this time. 

They don’t do anything other than sleep in the same bed that night. It’s as much as Peter can handle at the moment. But well after they’ve settled under the covers and a peaceful quiet suffuses the ship, Juno reaches out to take his hand again. He’s doesn’t know if Juno thinks he’s awake or not. He’s immensely grateful for it all the same. Some part of him is deeply and overwhelmingly afraid that hand will be gone in the morning, but another part knows with absolute certainty that this new Juno will be there. 

It’s not fixed, but Peter Nureyev falls asleep firm in the knowledge that it’s going to be alright.


End file.
